How the Hell is Everyone Brushing Their Toddler’s Teeth?

Not asking for a friend.

Hi. Hello.

I have an entire note in my phone dedicated to more meaningful subjects that I’d like to write about, but here I am talking to you about brushing my kid’s teeth. Twice a day, you’d think that instead of trying to promote good dental hygiene, I’m actually pouring hot lava into my son’s mouth. Or that the toothbrush is made of hundreds of teeny, tiny biting spiders. Or that every time the bristles make contact with a tooth, they’re not just softly scrubbing away plaque, but sending electric shocks throughout his body. I frequently think about the battles that played out in Game of Thrones during these times and I don’t think that’s healthy.  

When we first started out with our Baby Banana silicone toothbrush, we were calm, cool, cute even! I’d brush my teeth in front of him or let him brush my teeth, sing a song that just sort of appeared one day (“We’ve gotta brush brush brush, brush our teeth! We’ve gotta brush ‘em, we’ve gotta brush ‘em!”) like a little chipper beaver person…