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Courtney's avatar

This:

“I’ve been seriously considering jaw botox because his giant grin and the way he sometimes grabs my hand and nuzzles his face into it makes my heart swell so much that I can’t stop clenching my teeth out of primal adoration. It’s very Lennie from Of Mice and Men.”

So much same and LOL at the Lennie reference.

I felt all of this before having a second kid, btw. Very well captured. It is impossible to be a woman.

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Courtney Falsey's avatar

Thank you Courtney!! It is impossible but we keep showing up anyway. It’s reassuring to me to hear that other moms experienced the same doubts before trying for a second kid so I appreciate you sharing that, too.

Turns out I’m not a good candidate for jaw Botox, but it was worth a shot ;)

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Alex De La Garza's avatar

i love this, and so many of your posts! my daughters are 4 years almost exactly apart. it just happened that way, we thought we might be one and done also but i was never 100% and then fate just decided, if you will. i was soooo terrified of PP because with my first i had PPA, PPD, PPOCD, like you name it, i was it. it was awful. i was a shell of a human for so long. and i also was absolute about breastfeeding. we did well with that but i know it mentally and physically took its toll. anyways, i did so much research about how to care for myself PP round two and she just turned a year old last month and it has been such an amazing year!! she is FUCKING WILD, a climber baby - no fear. set on keeping up with her big sister. so, although I personally did so much better round 2 (only sleep deprivation) the second kid can be an adventure in and of themselves lol. i wish you the best wherever the parenting adventure takes you!!!

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Courtney Falsey's avatar

Thank you so much Alex! And thank you for sharing your experience with me. I'm so glad to hear the second time around was better! I think there's a lot to be said for knowing what was previously unknowable and taking the steps to help you have a better postpartum period like you did. The longer I'm a mom and the more I witness how often our kids change, the more confident I am that I'll be great with a second kid. I love that your second is a wild child, too. Motherhood sure is fun!

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Ashton's avatar

I really enjoyed reading this from the other side! I’m two months postpartum with baby #2 and had a lot of similar thoughts while I was pregnant (also dealt with PPA) — many times asking myself if we made a mistake. As a second time mom, this newborn stage has been much easier mentally and physically, but of course it comes with new challenges from having also having a toddler. However, it just feels “right” as I’ve grown more confident in my role as a mom.

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Courtney Falsey's avatar

Congratulations on baby #2! I love hearing that this time around has been easier although I'm sure running around with a toddler while also having a newborn is a whole other experience. I'm convinced moms have super powers. I hope you're getting some rest! Thank you for reading!

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Alice in rural land's avatar

Elena Bridgers of the "Motherhood until yesterday" substacks often talks about birth spacing, in hunter gatherers societies, children were typically spaced 4 years apart. she posits that having smaller birth intervals (2 years or so) could mean more struggle, especially in our societies without much support.

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Courtney Falsey's avatar

Yes I actually discovered her after I posted this! Love her info.

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Liz McKay's avatar

I’m 8 weeks away from having my second- the timing will be right for you both and you’ll just know it! I definitely have very similar fears (and also had PPD) but I think my confidence in being a parent has grown throughout this pregnancy.

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Courtney Falsey's avatar

Thank you for this and congratulations! Completely agree that the more confident you begin to feel as a parent, the more trust you have that things will work out.

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LysianeM's avatar

You write where I was two years ago. Tried to play out with the idea of "one-and-done" for a few months. Then hope that things could be different came through all the fear-induced chatter. Also, I tried meds to mitigate my chronic anxiety and prenatal depression (for me it comes before, not after birth). And that helped immensely. Thanks for sharing your journey.

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Courtney Falsey's avatar

Thank you for reading and for sharing some of your story ❤️ It's always nice to hear from others who have gone through similar things and come out the other side!

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sandy lavet's avatar

Your writing is so good ~ really enjoy reading your posts so much!! 💓

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Courtney Falsey's avatar

Thank you so much Sandy!

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